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What Are Y’all So Proud Of? June 26, 2012

Posted by Summerspeaker in Anarchism, Anti-imperialism, Queer politics.
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In a bold and progressive move, the United States military honors lesbian, gay, and bisexual soldiers today with an unprecedented Pentagon Pride event. (Sorry, trans folks! But let’s face it: we’ve always been the token T at the end of the acronym. I’m sure we’re next in line for glorious inclusion into imperialism.) Leon Panetta and company wisely realize the LGB population has experience ideally suited to current deployment conditions. LGB people can finally pursue careers in death-dealing, torture, and environmental devastation with official sanction. Yay!

What faggot doesn’t want the ability to prove the real faggot is over there, distinct and recognizably other? Now you can be queer without being queer! What a coup! What a brilliant move on the part of empire – they really thought this one through. Pioneering Israeli pinkwashing campaigns established the effectiveness of the strategy. Homonationalism and homonormativity allocate valuable human resources to the nation-state, furthering the project of liberal multiculturalism. We’ve come a long way. I have a dream that one day absolutely anybody will have the chance to kill the enemies of civilization and climb the hierarchy of world domination. Then the only queers will be those who refuse to obey. It almost brings a tear to my eye.

But wait! It gets better: not only does the war machine love us, so do corporations. Nabisco/Kraft Foods has endorsed Pride. Let’s thank them for taking a break from battling unruly workers to reach out to our community. And by thank, I mean shower them with gay dollars. What could be queerer than capitalism and junk food?

The spirit of Stonewall clearly remains with us.

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